O source of all good,
What shall I render to you for the gift of gifts,
your own dear Son?
Herein is wonder of wonders:
he came below to raise me above,
was born like me that I might become like him.
Herein is love;
when I cannot rise to him he draws near on wings of grace,
to raise me to himself.
Herein is power;
when Deity and humanity were infinitely apart,
he united them in indissoluble unity,
the uncreate and the created.
Herein is wisdom;
when I was undone, with no will to return to him,
and no intellect to devise recovery,
he came, God-incarnate, to save me to the uttermost,
as man to die my death,
to shed satisfying blood on my behalf,
to work out a perfect righteousness for me!
O God, take me in spirit to the watchful shepherds,
and enlarge my mind!
Let me hear good tidings of great joy,
and hearing, believe, rejoice, praise, adore,
my conscience bathed in an ocean of repose,
my eyes uplifted to a reconciled Father!
Place me with ox, donkey, camel, goat,
to look with them upon my Redeemer’s face,
and in him account myself delivered from sin!
Let me with Simeon clasp the newborn child to my heart,
embrace him with undying faith,
exulting that he is mine and I am his!
In him you have given me so much that heaven can give no more.
{Puritan Prayer}
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Friday, October 21, 2011
I guess I didn’t take it seriously when the other “Wazungus” (white people) in town warned us of the lack of housing. “There are more people needing housing than there are houses available. Your family may have to live at the language school.”
No big deal, I thought. For almost three years of our travels we have lived in and out of hotel rooms, missions apartments, basements, etc. I thought I was pretty resilient.
As I stood in the doorway of our future home I couldn’t speak. I knew if I tried to utter a word I would cry. I just followed; nodding my head as the precious Tanzanian man, Israel, proudly showed us the living quarters. Concrete floors, two tiny bedrooms only big enough to hold beds, a 10 ft by 10ft living area, and windows with cracks and holes large enough for any insect or snake to enter, no kitchen, the bathroom big enough for a small sink, tiny shower which is backed up against the stained toilet.
“I have three children," trying my best to utter in my limited Swahili “nina kuwa na tatu watoto.” There is no room for three children.” The tiny room offered space for twin size bunk beds and about 2 ft along one side to walk. “My baby will not fit." Isreal replies, “That is no problem, mama. The baby can sleep in your room.” Simple solution, huh? I wanted to act on every ounce of earthly instinct and say I can’t do this! There are 1 thousand reasons that anyone could give not to move their family there.
Later that day we arrive at a duplex in town, that is currently rented, but has possible openings. Two decent sized bedrooms, a kitchen, a clean bathroom, perfectly sealed windows, a pool and another similar unit for Shantelle! I immediately said to Aaron and Shantelle, “Every prayer letter from here on out will be asking people to pray that this duplex opens up for us to rent.” Sounds reasonable, right? Until the next day when I visited the Neema House. The Neema House is a church and Feeding center (started by the faithfulness of Mitch and Beth Calmes and Manna Worldwide) right in the middle of an Islamic Slum. There I met beautiful Christian women; washing dishes, humming hymns to the Lord, hugging and laughing. Praising the Lord with pure and relentless joy. In this broken, dirty slum they were more joyful and dependent upon the Lord than I have ever come close to. These women are living the definition of “poverty”, but somehow I felt like the impoverished one.
I have such little faith, more often than not my joy is contingent upon circumstances. I have experienced such slight and gloomy glimpses of what life is all about. In my clean, pottery barn and ikea-laden, American home with a fully stocked kitchen…I am so far from that beautiful and wonderful reliance on Christ. I’m impoverished in spirit. I place faith in and reliance on comfort and on things. Rich with possessions, yet completely deficient in faith.
So, my NEW prayer is this:
Lord, you may bless us with the duplex or an equally comfortable home OR you may choose to bless our family by experiencing some uncomfortable grace at the language school housing. I pray that YOUR will be done and that you will accomplish in us what we would never choose in order to bring GLORY to YOUR name. Lord, do what you see best in order that my family sees only YOU as our comfort and our “safe place”. Thank you for allowing me to serve you, inadequate and often faithless.
I Timothy 6:17-19
17As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy. 18They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, 19thus storing up treasure for themselves as a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is truly life.
No big deal, I thought. For almost three years of our travels we have lived in and out of hotel rooms, missions apartments, basements, etc. I thought I was pretty resilient.
As I stood in the doorway of our future home I couldn’t speak. I knew if I tried to utter a word I would cry. I just followed; nodding my head as the precious Tanzanian man, Israel, proudly showed us the living quarters. Concrete floors, two tiny bedrooms only big enough to hold beds, a 10 ft by 10ft living area, and windows with cracks and holes large enough for any insect or snake to enter, no kitchen, the bathroom big enough for a small sink, tiny shower which is backed up against the stained toilet.
“I have three children," trying my best to utter in my limited Swahili “nina kuwa na tatu watoto.” There is no room for three children.” The tiny room offered space for twin size bunk beds and about 2 ft along one side to walk. “My baby will not fit." Isreal replies, “That is no problem, mama. The baby can sleep in your room.” Simple solution, huh? I wanted to act on every ounce of earthly instinct and say I can’t do this! There are 1 thousand reasons that anyone could give not to move their family there.
Later that day we arrive at a duplex in town, that is currently rented, but has possible openings. Two decent sized bedrooms, a kitchen, a clean bathroom, perfectly sealed windows, a pool and another similar unit for Shantelle! I immediately said to Aaron and Shantelle, “Every prayer letter from here on out will be asking people to pray that this duplex opens up for us to rent.” Sounds reasonable, right? Until the next day when I visited the Neema House. The Neema House is a church and Feeding center (started by the faithfulness of Mitch and Beth Calmes and Manna Worldwide) right in the middle of an Islamic Slum. There I met beautiful Christian women; washing dishes, humming hymns to the Lord, hugging and laughing. Praising the Lord with pure and relentless joy. In this broken, dirty slum they were more joyful and dependent upon the Lord than I have ever come close to. These women are living the definition of “poverty”, but somehow I felt like the impoverished one.
I have such little faith, more often than not my joy is contingent upon circumstances. I have experienced such slight and gloomy glimpses of what life is all about. In my clean, pottery barn and ikea-laden, American home with a fully stocked kitchen…I am so far from that beautiful and wonderful reliance on Christ. I’m impoverished in spirit. I place faith in and reliance on comfort and on things. Rich with possessions, yet completely deficient in faith.
So, my NEW prayer is this:
Lord, you may bless us with the duplex or an equally comfortable home OR you may choose to bless our family by experiencing some uncomfortable grace at the language school housing. I pray that YOUR will be done and that you will accomplish in us what we would never choose in order to bring GLORY to YOUR name. Lord, do what you see best in order that my family sees only YOU as our comfort and our “safe place”. Thank you for allowing me to serve you, inadequate and often faithless.
I Timothy 6:17-19
17As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy. 18They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, 19thus storing up treasure for themselves as a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is truly life.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
For as long as I can remember, my Grandma Clara, “Nona” prayed for her youngest sister Linda. Nona’s prayer journals were filled with Linda’s name, faithfully asking God’s grace to be on the life of her sister. My grandma died of cancer in 2008 without Linda ever accepting Christ.
Last Monday I fearfully walked myself into the Critical Care Unit of a Hospital in St. Petersburg, Florida. Before going any further with this story, I want to back up and explain how I got there.
This past May our teammate Michal Paul Leek got a last minute phone call to speak at a church in Florida. He asked Aaron if we could fill in since we were already in town. The girls were sick, so Aaron went to this church alone. Two months later we received a call from the same church asking us to come back for their missions month…September 25th. We happened to already have bookings in Florida during that time, so we accepted. God is His incredible grace booked this church the day before I would find myself in a critical care unit…15 minutes away.
“She’s going in for emergency surgery in an hour. It’s good you are here. We aren’t sure how long she has.” The nurse says as she leaves the room. I didn’t answer, my eyes locked on a woman that so strikingly resembled my grandma that I was in a loss for words…in a loss for breath. Linda. Her feeble, 90-pound, cancer-filled body, with more tubes and pumps than plausible, lying before me, alone. I prayed silently. I reached my hand to hers and said, “Aunt Linda, it is Stephanie, Clara’s granddaughter.” Her cold hand squeezes mine and she gathers all her strength to nod with such urgency that tears filled my eyes. She could hear me. She knew who I was. “I know you can’t speak, but I’m here, I’m staying. You aren’t alone.” She squeezes my hand tighter and nods again as I ask her “Can I pray with you?” I spent the next hour trading off in prayer and reading Scripture. I prayed for comfort, peace, healing, and I read and prayed through the gospel. I told Linda about memories I had of her and my grandma. I shared how I have heard her name spoken by her sister in prayer more times than I can count. “Oh, how she loved her baby sister.” This precious hour flew by and was spent mostly in tears.
“Linda, you are going in for surgery. I know you are scared.” I whispered. What happened in that next moment I will never fail to remember. With more strength than it seemed she could give, she nodded her head and grasped my hand when I asked her, “Linda, did you pray with me to accept Christ as your Savior?” Yes! In His beautiful and marvelous grace, three years after my grandma entered the gates of heaven, OUR gracious Heavenly Father answered her earthly prayers for Linda’s salvation.
We serve a God who hears our prayers and who answers our prayers…often in ways and in timing that we would never expect. Linda and I both got to share a glimpse of that miraculous grace and mercy of our Lord that day. Maybe Nona even got a glimpse of that moment as well. :)
-Linda remains in the Critical Care Unit. We are getting daily updates.
Hebrews 4:14-16
14 Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. 15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. 16 Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
Last Monday I fearfully walked myself into the Critical Care Unit of a Hospital in St. Petersburg, Florida. Before going any further with this story, I want to back up and explain how I got there.
This past May our teammate Michal Paul Leek got a last minute phone call to speak at a church in Florida. He asked Aaron if we could fill in since we were already in town. The girls were sick, so Aaron went to this church alone. Two months later we received a call from the same church asking us to come back for their missions month…September 25th. We happened to already have bookings in Florida during that time, so we accepted. God is His incredible grace booked this church the day before I would find myself in a critical care unit…15 minutes away.
“She’s going in for emergency surgery in an hour. It’s good you are here. We aren’t sure how long she has.” The nurse says as she leaves the room. I didn’t answer, my eyes locked on a woman that so strikingly resembled my grandma that I was in a loss for words…in a loss for breath. Linda. Her feeble, 90-pound, cancer-filled body, with more tubes and pumps than plausible, lying before me, alone. I prayed silently. I reached my hand to hers and said, “Aunt Linda, it is Stephanie, Clara’s granddaughter.” Her cold hand squeezes mine and she gathers all her strength to nod with such urgency that tears filled my eyes. She could hear me. She knew who I was. “I know you can’t speak, but I’m here, I’m staying. You aren’t alone.” She squeezes my hand tighter and nods again as I ask her “Can I pray with you?” I spent the next hour trading off in prayer and reading Scripture. I prayed for comfort, peace, healing, and I read and prayed through the gospel. I told Linda about memories I had of her and my grandma. I shared how I have heard her name spoken by her sister in prayer more times than I can count. “Oh, how she loved her baby sister.” This precious hour flew by and was spent mostly in tears.
“Linda, you are going in for surgery. I know you are scared.” I whispered. What happened in that next moment I will never fail to remember. With more strength than it seemed she could give, she nodded her head and grasped my hand when I asked her, “Linda, did you pray with me to accept Christ as your Savior?” Yes! In His beautiful and marvelous grace, three years after my grandma entered the gates of heaven, OUR gracious Heavenly Father answered her earthly prayers for Linda’s salvation.
We serve a God who hears our prayers and who answers our prayers…often in ways and in timing that we would never expect. Linda and I both got to share a glimpse of that miraculous grace and mercy of our Lord that day. Maybe Nona even got a glimpse of that moment as well. :)
-Linda remains in the Critical Care Unit. We are getting daily updates.
Hebrews 4:14-16
14 Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. 15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. 16 Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Where we never intended to go...
Mark 6:45-52
45 Immediately he made his disciples get into the boat and go before him to the other side, to Bethsaida, while he dismissed the crowd. 46 And after he had taken leave of them, he went up on the mountain to pray. 47 And when evening came, the boat was out on the sea, and he was alone on the land. 48 And he saw that they were making headway painfully, for the wind was against them. And about the fourth watch of the night7 he came to them, walking on the sea. He meant to pass by them, 49 but when they saw him walking on the sea they thought it was a ghost, and cried out, 50 for they all saw him and were terrified. But immediately he spoke to them and said, “Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid.” 51 And he got into the boat with them, and the wind ceased. And they were utterly astounded, 52 for they did not understand about the loaves, but their hearts were hardened.];
Out in the middle of a storm, the disciples found themselves in a potentially dangerous, frightening, and dire situation. Mark says that they were “making headway painfully, for the wind was against them.” Ever been there? Making headway painfully?
They were not in this wearisome moment because they were unwise or unfaithful. This moment of terror was no surprise to God. Look in verse 45. “He (Jesus) MADE his disciples get in the boat”. They were in that moment because Jesus wanted them in that moment. Drawing some personal parallels?
One of the most amazing things about this passage is that at any moment Jesus could have stayed on shore and spoken that storm into silence. He could have heard their cries and instantly calmed the storm, immediately rescuing them from their painful situation. In His perfect redemptive love, Christ didn’t just stop their situation… HE WALKED ON WATER and said to them “It is I, do not be afraid.” Jesus didn’t just want them to be rescued from their situation; He wanted them to look to HIM. As Paul Tripp says “He’s not so much after your situation, He is after YOU.” Christ wanted these disciples to get something from this that they could get no other way. This is transforming, refining grace! “Jesus will take you where you never intended to go in order to produce in you what you could not do on your own.”
The end of this passage takes me to an entirely new level of conviction. It says about the disciples (who had just watched Jesus feed 5,000 people with 5 loaves and 2 fish)… “And they were utterly astounded, for they did not understand about the loaves, but their hearts were hardened.” How many times have I seen God’s mighty hand at work and then shortly after that miracle cripple in fear the moment that I make “headway painfully” and the “wind is against me”.
Lord, please give me a heart of faith during the storm. Forgive my fear and disbelief. Forgive my focus on self. Please melt this hardened heart, which so easily forgets your miracles and your work. Thank you for your WORD that radically changes us from within. Thank you for the storms and for Your refining and sometimes painful grace.
To listen to an incredible sermon from Paul Tripp on this passage COPY AND PASTE this into your browser: http://hv.thevillagechurch.net/resource_files/audio/201012121115FMWC21ASAAA_PaulDavidTripp_StandAlone-TheDifferenceBetweenAmazementandFaith.mp3
45 Immediately he made his disciples get into the boat and go before him to the other side, to Bethsaida, while he dismissed the crowd. 46 And after he had taken leave of them, he went up on the mountain to pray. 47 And when evening came, the boat was out on the sea, and he was alone on the land. 48 And he saw that they were making headway painfully, for the wind was against them. And about the fourth watch of the night7 he came to them, walking on the sea. He meant to pass by them, 49 but when they saw him walking on the sea they thought it was a ghost, and cried out, 50 for they all saw him and were terrified. But immediately he spoke to them and said, “Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid.” 51 And he got into the boat with them, and the wind ceased. And they were utterly astounded, 52 for they did not understand about the loaves, but their hearts were hardened.];
Out in the middle of a storm, the disciples found themselves in a potentially dangerous, frightening, and dire situation. Mark says that they were “making headway painfully, for the wind was against them.” Ever been there? Making headway painfully?
They were not in this wearisome moment because they were unwise or unfaithful. This moment of terror was no surprise to God. Look in verse 45. “He (Jesus) MADE his disciples get in the boat”. They were in that moment because Jesus wanted them in that moment. Drawing some personal parallels?
One of the most amazing things about this passage is that at any moment Jesus could have stayed on shore and spoken that storm into silence. He could have heard their cries and instantly calmed the storm, immediately rescuing them from their painful situation. In His perfect redemptive love, Christ didn’t just stop their situation… HE WALKED ON WATER and said to them “It is I, do not be afraid.” Jesus didn’t just want them to be rescued from their situation; He wanted them to look to HIM. As Paul Tripp says “He’s not so much after your situation, He is after YOU.” Christ wanted these disciples to get something from this that they could get no other way. This is transforming, refining grace! “Jesus will take you where you never intended to go in order to produce in you what you could not do on your own.”
The end of this passage takes me to an entirely new level of conviction. It says about the disciples (who had just watched Jesus feed 5,000 people with 5 loaves and 2 fish)… “And they were utterly astounded, for they did not understand about the loaves, but their hearts were hardened.” How many times have I seen God’s mighty hand at work and then shortly after that miracle cripple in fear the moment that I make “headway painfully” and the “wind is against me”.
Lord, please give me a heart of faith during the storm. Forgive my fear and disbelief. Forgive my focus on self. Please melt this hardened heart, which so easily forgets your miracles and your work. Thank you for your WORD that radically changes us from within. Thank you for the storms and for Your refining and sometimes painful grace.
To listen to an incredible sermon from Paul Tripp on this passage COPY AND PASTE this into your browser: http://hv.thevillagechurch.net/resource_files/audio/201012121115FMWC21ASAAA_PaulDavidTripp_StandAlone-TheDifferenceBetweenAmazementandFaith.mp3
Monday, August 8, 2011
When “I can’t do it” is the best place to be…
Last week I was on the phone with my older sister. Complaining. Giving her the list of hardships in ministry and why I can’t do it. In fact…that is exactly what I said, “I can’t do it anymore, Tiff.” My sister said something that I didn’t expect. “I’m so glad to hear you say that, Steph.” What? Why would she say such a thing in my moment of need? “Feel sorry for me, sister” is what I was really thinking! She went on to explain, “What an awesome place when you can see your situation, your life, your trial and say “I can’t do it.” Because it is in those moments when you begin to understand your hopelessness outside of Christ. You can’t do it because YOU are not supposed to. It is the power of Christ working in you that makes anything possible.”
(Side note: I have a pretty awesome big sister!)
This morning, a week after God opened my eyes through my sister, I had them opened again. Kennedy was not having the oatmeal that we placed in front of her for breakfast. Literally, not having it. She stood firm in her decision to disobey. So, as parents, who are struggling to teach our kids the difference between law and grace, we busted out all of our best tricks. We prayed with her, loved her, disciplined her, prayed again, disciplined again, shared scripture, shared more scripture, prayed again, I’m not going to lie…I even tried the good old fashion manipulation “Kennedy, think about all the starving children…we are so disappointed in your unthankful heart for what God has given us”…the cycle went on and on. The more grace we offered, the more Kennedy stood firm in her disobedience. “I CAN’T DO IT!” She shouted. Wow…didn’t that sound familiar!
It was then that God gave me the grace to help my daughter understand how true her statement was and that mommy completely understands what she is feeling. What an amazing moment God gave me to share with my daughter my own struggles! I shared how mommy can’t forgive others the way I should, or love others who don’t love me back, or show humility when my heart is so full of pride, how I can’t do anything “good” without the amazing grace and power of Christ.
“I can do ALL THINGS through CHRIST who strengthens me.” Feeling inadequate hurts, it hurts the pride and self-sufficiency that we all have saturating our hearts. But it’s in those moments, those God-ordained moments of sometimes very painful grace, that we learn the power of Christ in our lives.
P.S. We aren’t in victory mode yet. Kennedy is mid-trial (translation: bowl of oatmeal still awaits), but I am so thankful that God is teaching my typically obedient, law-driven Pharisee of a 6-year old that she “CAN’T DO IT.” I pray that this moment sticks with her to look to Christ to accomplish what she can’t! Thankful for the sometimes painful, frustrating, time-consuming, humbling GRACE OF GOD!
II Corinthians 5:21 For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
(Side note: I have a pretty awesome big sister!)
This morning, a week after God opened my eyes through my sister, I had them opened again. Kennedy was not having the oatmeal that we placed in front of her for breakfast. Literally, not having it. She stood firm in her decision to disobey. So, as parents, who are struggling to teach our kids the difference between law and grace, we busted out all of our best tricks. We prayed with her, loved her, disciplined her, prayed again, disciplined again, shared scripture, shared more scripture, prayed again, I’m not going to lie…I even tried the good old fashion manipulation “Kennedy, think about all the starving children…we are so disappointed in your unthankful heart for what God has given us”…the cycle went on and on. The more grace we offered, the more Kennedy stood firm in her disobedience. “I CAN’T DO IT!” She shouted. Wow…didn’t that sound familiar!
It was then that God gave me the grace to help my daughter understand how true her statement was and that mommy completely understands what she is feeling. What an amazing moment God gave me to share with my daughter my own struggles! I shared how mommy can’t forgive others the way I should, or love others who don’t love me back, or show humility when my heart is so full of pride, how I can’t do anything “good” without the amazing grace and power of Christ.
“I can do ALL THINGS through CHRIST who strengthens me.” Feeling inadequate hurts, it hurts the pride and self-sufficiency that we all have saturating our hearts. But it’s in those moments, those God-ordained moments of sometimes very painful grace, that we learn the power of Christ in our lives.
P.S. We aren’t in victory mode yet. Kennedy is mid-trial (translation: bowl of oatmeal still awaits), but I am so thankful that God is teaching my typically obedient, law-driven Pharisee of a 6-year old that she “CAN’T DO IT.” I pray that this moment sticks with her to look to Christ to accomplish what she can’t! Thankful for the sometimes painful, frustrating, time-consuming, humbling GRACE OF GOD!
II Corinthians 5:21 For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Third Culture Kids
“A third culture kid is a person who has spent a significant part of his or her developmental years outside their parents’ culture. The third culture kid builds relationships to all the cultures, while not having full ownership in any. Although elements from each culture are assimilated into the third culture kid’s life experience, the sense of belonging is in relationship to others of the same background, other TCKs.”
The girls woke up early already thinking about the exciting day that lied ahead. It was their first time riding a bus…alone. While Aaron and I (and teammate Shan) go through our missionary training at ABWE this week, Kennedy and Claire head out for missionary training of their own. They are learning all about being a “third culture kid”.
Today each child got blue clay and yellow clay. The blue represented the country in which they were born/ their parents’ culture. The yellow clay represented the new country in which they live or will soon live. They then put their clay together, blending them more and more until the blue and yellow clay merged together to make green. “I am green” Kennedy said as she explained the representation of this clay in her life.
Her little legs hanging from her booster seat, my little six-year-old explained how she has a special part of her that is American and also a special part soon to be African. The longer she will live in her new culture, the more mixed she will become. I guess our girls will be some of the small number of white kids who can claim to be African-American. ;)
I’m so thankful for ABWE for taking the time to love our children and give them this very special time of training. They have encouraged our kids to realize that they aren’t just tagging along on something that God has called their parents to do, but that God placed them in their family on purpose. “This missionary journey is part of God’s race marked out for THEM.”
-I will try to keep updates coming throughout the week. Thank you all for your prayers.
{The Bus..A Very Big Deal For These Two Girls}
{Kennedy and Claire's Itinerary This Week}
The girls woke up early already thinking about the exciting day that lied ahead. It was their first time riding a bus…alone. While Aaron and I (and teammate Shan) go through our missionary training at ABWE this week, Kennedy and Claire head out for missionary training of their own. They are learning all about being a “third culture kid”.
Today each child got blue clay and yellow clay. The blue represented the country in which they were born/ their parents’ culture. The yellow clay represented the new country in which they live or will soon live. They then put their clay together, blending them more and more until the blue and yellow clay merged together to make green. “I am green” Kennedy said as she explained the representation of this clay in her life.
Her little legs hanging from her booster seat, my little six-year-old explained how she has a special part of her that is American and also a special part soon to be African. The longer she will live in her new culture, the more mixed she will become. I guess our girls will be some of the small number of white kids who can claim to be African-American. ;)
I’m so thankful for ABWE for taking the time to love our children and give them this very special time of training. They have encouraged our kids to realize that they aren’t just tagging along on something that God has called their parents to do, but that God placed them in their family on purpose. “This missionary journey is part of God’s race marked out for THEM.”
-I will try to keep updates coming throughout the week. Thank you all for your prayers.
{The Bus..A Very Big Deal For These Two Girls}
{Kennedy and Claire's Itinerary This Week}
Saturday, July 9, 2011
{A video diary from Kennedy + Claire}
Another hotel. Another city. What is our dynamic 6 and 4-year-old to do except conjure up an idea to record video diaries? Of course, they felt they needed complete privacy for this process (translation: the rest of the family squeezed into the hotel bathroom until the completion of their recording) Below is what they came up with.
First we have Kennedy. Our dramatic, too smart for her own good, dreamer of a child. She immediately goes into princess, berry-picking land.
Claire-bear defaults to what she knows best...Norah. My favorite part is the end...when you get to see the real Claire.
First we have Kennedy. Our dramatic, too smart for her own good, dreamer of a child. She immediately goes into princess, berry-picking land.
Claire-bear defaults to what she knows best...Norah. My favorite part is the end...when you get to see the real Claire.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
{My faithful friend}
A few words about a very special friend.
When you think about an influential person, someone God really uses to uplift and encourage others, you may think of a pastor or evangelist, a teacher, a close friend or mentor you have had. Most wouldn’t consider a child or even more so, someone with a handicap into their train of thought. God does.
A very special friend of mine has been used by God as one of my greatest encouragements over the last 3 months. His name is Nathan, a fun-loving guy with Down syndrome. Nathan and his wonderful family faithfully attend our home church back in Ohio. Nathan sits on the front row and swiftly takes notes as the message is being preached. Nathan has faithfully texted me every day, literally every day, with words of thoughtfulness, encouragement, and often times his witty sense of humor and a song…or two…or three. Words like “I praying for you Stepy. How is Aron and the girls. Tell them I miss them.”
In times when I felt so lonely, so out of touch, not sure what situation or residence we were driving into next, Nathan’s faithfulness as a friend brought such a great amount of comfort. God used Nathan in a very special way and I will always be thankful to my precious friend back home, who encouraged and faithfully checked on this struggling missionary and her family! We love you, Nathan!
When you think about an influential person, someone God really uses to uplift and encourage others, you may think of a pastor or evangelist, a teacher, a close friend or mentor you have had. Most wouldn’t consider a child or even more so, someone with a handicap into their train of thought. God does.
A very special friend of mine has been used by God as one of my greatest encouragements over the last 3 months. His name is Nathan, a fun-loving guy with Down syndrome. Nathan and his wonderful family faithfully attend our home church back in Ohio. Nathan sits on the front row and swiftly takes notes as the message is being preached. Nathan has faithfully texted me every day, literally every day, with words of thoughtfulness, encouragement, and often times his witty sense of humor and a song…or two…or three. Words like “I praying for you Stepy. How is Aron and the girls. Tell them I miss them.”
In times when I felt so lonely, so out of touch, not sure what situation or residence we were driving into next, Nathan’s faithfulness as a friend brought such a great amount of comfort. God used Nathan in a very special way and I will always be thankful to my precious friend back home, who encouraged and faithfully checked on this struggling missionary and her family! We love you, Nathan!
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Mother's Day conversation with Kennedy
I just had to write (type) this out before I forgot it. Our girls say the greatest things. They are always making us laugh and often embarrassing us by their honesty. A recent humbling example: I saw them whispering at a restaurant last week and giggling. I was touched at how sweet they appeared and could not wait to hear all about their precious little conversation. When I asked them they said, "we like your dress mommy...it makes you look like you have a baby in your belly."
ANYWAY, what I really wanted to write about is what our precious 5 year old, Kennedy, said today. We were sitting on the couch and I told her and Claire, "You know, one day you girls will be mommies. I hope you have a husband that makes you feel as special as your daddy makes me feel." Kennedy looked up at me and said, "Mommy! You know we will because we will only marry someone if they love Jesus as much as daddy does."
Now you see why we need this in writing!
I am so thankful that, at such young ages, my girls are starting to understand that what makes their dad so loving, giving, patient, faithful, such a strong and selfless leader (I could keep going...he's amazing) only comes through who he is in Christ. God has blessed my girls so much by daily allowing them to see how a godly man loves his wife and family. Some poor boys are going to have big shoes to fill one day!
{Our 3 Little Ladies in Training}
ANYWAY, what I really wanted to write about is what our precious 5 year old, Kennedy, said today. We were sitting on the couch and I told her and Claire, "You know, one day you girls will be mommies. I hope you have a husband that makes you feel as special as your daddy makes me feel." Kennedy looked up at me and said, "Mommy! You know we will because we will only marry someone if they love Jesus as much as daddy does."
Now you see why we need this in writing!
I am so thankful that, at such young ages, my girls are starting to understand that what makes their dad so loving, giving, patient, faithful, such a strong and selfless leader (I could keep going...he's amazing) only comes through who he is in Christ. God has blessed my girls so much by daily allowing them to see how a godly man loves his wife and family. Some poor boys are going to have big shoes to fill one day!
{Our 3 Little Ladies in Training}
Friday, April 29, 2011
Maria's Lesson On Abandoning Self
Aaron and I spent the day speaking to classes from K5 to 6th grade about missions and Kenya. We walked through what a day in the life of an African child would be like, showed them Kenyan drums and toys, taught them some swahili, and answered a lot of questions...seriously, a LOT of questions! We also took time to share the need with each class. Whenever speaking with children, we take caution in not sharing too heavy of subjects. We share stories of the need in Africa, but keep it simple and at child-level. Children are often so sensitive to the needs of others. These kids asked so many questions and were so excited to hear about God's plan for missions. It was during the 5th grade class that we met a little girl (or pre-teen, as they notified me they are called these days) named Maria.
Later in the evening we got to attend a special art show put on by these students. During the art show, Maria approached us. "I have been saving since my birthday and Christmas to get an ipod touch. While I was listening to you speak today, God really touched my heart. I decided later that I wanted to give the money to Kenya that I have saved for my ipod." She placed $100 in our hands.
Obviously tears flowed down my face as I listened to the heart of this little girl (pre-teen). What an incredible sacrifice she made. It got me thinking if I would be willing to make such a sacrifice for others? Even as a missionary, who has surrendered my life to the Lord's work, would I be so willing to give of my finances so dedicatedly saved?
Maria did more than just give money to our ministry. She reminded us that God wants all of His children, both young and old, to make such radical sacrifices. So I had to ask myself (because I am a 2nd generation over-analyzer and seeker of spiritualizing everything....thanks Dad) ...what is the "ipod touch" in my life? What in my life is God calling me to surrender to Him? Any dream, desire, goal that I am holding on to so tightly that I am not willing to give it up, like Maria did with her ipod?
"We are settling for a Christianity that revolves around catering to ourselves when the central message of Christianity is actually about abandoning ourselves." David Platt
Later in the evening we got to attend a special art show put on by these students. During the art show, Maria approached us. "I have been saving since my birthday and Christmas to get an ipod touch. While I was listening to you speak today, God really touched my heart. I decided later that I wanted to give the money to Kenya that I have saved for my ipod." She placed $100 in our hands.
Obviously tears flowed down my face as I listened to the heart of this little girl (pre-teen). What an incredible sacrifice she made. It got me thinking if I would be willing to make such a sacrifice for others? Even as a missionary, who has surrendered my life to the Lord's work, would I be so willing to give of my finances so dedicatedly saved?
Maria did more than just give money to our ministry. She reminded us that God wants all of His children, both young and old, to make such radical sacrifices. So I had to ask myself (because I am a 2nd generation over-analyzer and seeker of spiritualizing everything....thanks Dad) ...what is the "ipod touch" in my life? What in my life is God calling me to surrender to Him? Any dream, desire, goal that I am holding on to so tightly that I am not willing to give it up, like Maria did with her ipod?
"We are settling for a Christianity that revolves around catering to ourselves when the central message of Christianity is actually about abandoning ourselves." David Platt
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Bahama Breeze comes in with a sting
Last night a wonderful family took us to Bahama Breeze Restaurant. They brought along their granddaughter, who wants to be a missionary. They were very excited to hear about our ministry and asked us a lot of questions. They asked a pretty simple question: What is the hardest thing about deputation (deputation is the process of missionaries raising support to get to the field). Besides the obviously missing family and a consistent home for our children, I answered honestly: "I think the hardest thing about it is just waiting. Knowing where God has called us and not being able to be there is so hard." The conversation moved on, but my answer bothered me. Why did it bother me so much?
Am I much like the Israelites who were literally given food from heaven, Manna. That blessing from heaven wasn't good enough. They wanted their food they had tasted in Egypt. I was just like an Israelite complainer...getting incredibly blessed by God to be used by Him to minister and share His news right here in the states, yet wanting Kenya more.
God has called every believer to step out by faith and follow Him. I was focusing so much on our ministry "tomorrow" that I am missing the blessing and opportunities of today. Yes, our hearts are in Kenya. Does that mean that I am not willing to be used by God until then? If I can't have a content spirit now, what makes me think I will ever have one in Kenya? Life is full of false promises of what tomorrow will bring. I am deeply persuaded to stop doing this! If I died today, would God say..."Steph, if you just could have made it to Kenya, you could have done great things for me." NO! I am accountable for each and every moment I live on this earth! I need to stop yearning for tomorrow and seize every moment of today. That means, not complaining in Bahama Breeze about how much I want to get to Kenya. Instead, invest in that little girl who was sitting next to me feeling God has called her to be a missionary. Encourage her, love her, pray for her. Letting go of my ambitions and serving others.
I know exactly why we are not in Kenya yet. God doesn't want us there yet. So I rest in Him and His will for our lives, taking every moment on this "deputation" process to glorify the God who graciously saved me.
Am I much like the Israelites who were literally given food from heaven, Manna. That blessing from heaven wasn't good enough. They wanted their food they had tasted in Egypt. I was just like an Israelite complainer...getting incredibly blessed by God to be used by Him to minister and share His news right here in the states, yet wanting Kenya more.
God has called every believer to step out by faith and follow Him. I was focusing so much on our ministry "tomorrow" that I am missing the blessing and opportunities of today. Yes, our hearts are in Kenya. Does that mean that I am not willing to be used by God until then? If I can't have a content spirit now, what makes me think I will ever have one in Kenya? Life is full of false promises of what tomorrow will bring. I am deeply persuaded to stop doing this! If I died today, would God say..."Steph, if you just could have made it to Kenya, you could have done great things for me." NO! I am accountable for each and every moment I live on this earth! I need to stop yearning for tomorrow and seize every moment of today. That means, not complaining in Bahama Breeze about how much I want to get to Kenya. Instead, invest in that little girl who was sitting next to me feeling God has called her to be a missionary. Encourage her, love her, pray for her. Letting go of my ambitions and serving others.
I know exactly why we are not in Kenya yet. God doesn't want us there yet. So I rest in Him and His will for our lives, taking every moment on this "deputation" process to glorify the God who graciously saved me.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
We got this from a college-aged preachers daughter a couple weeks ago...after a long and very tiring month.
"...You guys probably get this a lot, but your heart for God is so obvious, and it's so great to see a couple that has so much going for them, getting so serious about the Lord!! Abi and I have been talking about you guys almost nonstop since yesterday, haha, and Dad had a testimony time last night for the church to talk about how you guys had impacted them. Many people said that your obvious compassion and burden for the people of Kenya was inspiring, and that they were very touched by your presentation. Thank you again for coming, and for confirming many things for me that God had been working on lately. I praise Him that I have a clearer direction now than I think i ever have before, and I wanted to encourage you in that, as I know deputation is hard and fast and many times one feels like they aren't making a dent or a difference. You are!!! :D Thanks again, and we will continue to pray for you as God brings in the rest of your support."
First of all, to the person who wrote this: (you know who you are) thank you for taking the time to let God use you to encourage us!
We have said this from the beginning; we don't see our ministry as starting in Kenya. It is here and now while God has us traveling all over the states, often tired and homesick, but sharing our burden for Kenya and for God's plan for missions. This sweet letter was used as a reminder and encouragement to keep pressing on. We are anxious to get to Kenya, but want to have hearts that are focusing on honoring God where He has us right now....even if it entails spending hundreds of hours more in the car with 3 children than I ever wanted. :)
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
I Am Going Stop Being a Grief Forecaster…
I Am Going Stop Being a Grief Forecaster…
As we traveled ALL around the states I have had a very hidden fear. This is a fear that only my husband and God have known about…until now. I have a, sometimes paralyzing, fear of my family being killed in a car crash. I am ashamed to admit how much this fear has consumed my mind.
I sit in the passengers seat and watch each semi-truck and think “at any moment this truck could come over and crush us.” I even play out in my mind what the chain reaction of that blow from the semi would be…”would we swerve into the other lane and be struck by the Suburban behind us?” “If we go into the ditch…would our car flip?” “If the car catches fire…could we get all of our girls out in time?” The list goes on and on. I know…I’m a morbid thinker! I never realized how much I had been dwelling on and consumed by this fear until last week.
We were driving from a church on Sunday afternoon. Our speedometer and gages have been messed up for about a month or so now. It pretty much says we are always going 10 mph. (Don’t worry, we have our gps that gages our actual speed limit). Anyway, we didn’t realize that this was affecting another part of our dash…the gas gage. Needless to say, we ran out of gas. On a busy highway. My biggest fear was unveiling itself. I thought…”this is it…we are about to get slammed into by one of these semi-trucks zooming by us at 70 mph.” I would be ashamed if anyone had a window into how I reacted! It was appalling…just ask my husband. On second thought, don’t ask him.
As God’s extraordinary grace works…he exposed my heart right then and there. The very same God that I have surrendered my life to, my time to, my family to, I wasn’t trusting. I’m an African missionary for crying out loud…where is my faith???
“If my life is once surrendered, all is well. Let me not grab it back, as though it were in peril in His hand but would be safer in mine” Ellizabeth Elliot
Why do I think it is my business to pry into what God has for tomorrow…or even in the next moments. It is not. My future, the safety of my family, my health, my time on earth is all in the hands of our sovereign and loving God. I will choose to stop my attempt to grab a hold of what never belonged to me…tomorrow.
READ Matthew 6:25-34 and think about what you are trying to grab back from God. Repent. Receive Grace. Choose radical reliance on God.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Monday, February 28, 2011
The Call to Ministry
Charles Spurgeon wrote in "Lectures to My Students"
"Do not enter the ministry if you can help it...If any student in this room could be content to be a newspaper editor or a grocer or a farmer or a doctor or a lawyer or a senator or a king, in the name of heaven and earth, let him go his way; he is not the man in whom dwells the Spirit of God in its fullness, for man so filled with God would utterly weary of any pursuit but that for which his inmost soul pants. If on the other hand, you can say that for all the wealth of both the Indies you could not and dare not espouse any other calling so as to be put aside from preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ, then, depend upon it, if other things be equally satisfactory, you have the signs of this apostleship. We must feel that woe is unto us if we preach not the gospel; the Word of God must be unto us as fire in our bones, otherwise, if we undertake the ministry, we shall be unhappy in it, shall be unable to bear the self-denials incident to it, and shall be of little service to those among whom we minister..." As Aaron and I were driving home from a church visit a few weeks ago, we discussed this very thing. Would we abandoned our calling if we were offered immeasurable wealth, assurance of health and safety, and guarantee of a life of ease and comfort. We both sat quietly for a few moments and then simultaneously blurted out, "absolutely not!" The deepest of desires has been placed in our hearts, one that can only be placed by our loving God, to minister and share His gospel message. No other life would touch the one we know He has called us to. Nothing would satisfy the longing that God has placed in our heart, short of accomplishing His call to ministry in Kenya. We echo the words of Paul to the Thessalonian believers... Having so fond an affection for you, we were well-pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God but also our own lives, because you had become very dear to us. (I Thess. 2:8)
On all of this we know that our God is Sovereignly in control of our lives and our calling. This is why we press on into the life that God has called us, but with open hands. He has the right, at any moment to end our journey, call us elsewhere or even call us home to heaven. What great peace and comfort there is knowing that the same God that created Heaven and Earth, extends His grace and mercy to sinful humans, and then allows us to be used as His instruments in sharing His love! Wow...that is a life worth living or dying for!
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