Monday, August 8, 2011

When “I can’t do it” is the best place to be…

Last week I was on the phone with my older sister. Complaining. Giving her the list of hardships in ministry and why I can’t do it. In fact…that is exactly what I said, “I can’t do it anymore, Tiff.” My sister said something that I didn’t expect. “I’m so glad to hear you say that, Steph.” What? Why would she say such a thing in my moment of need? “Feel sorry for me, sister” is what I was really thinking! She went on to explain, “What an awesome place when you can see your situation, your life, your trial and say “I can’t do it.” Because it is in those moments when you begin to understand your hopelessness outside of Christ. You can’t do it because YOU are not supposed to. It is the power of Christ working in you that makes anything possible.”
(Side note: I have a pretty awesome big sister!)

This morning, a week after God opened my eyes through my sister, I had them opened again. Kennedy was not having the oatmeal that we placed in front of her for breakfast. Literally, not having it. She stood firm in her decision to disobey. So, as parents, who are struggling to teach our kids the difference between law and grace, we busted out all of our best tricks. We prayed with her, loved her, disciplined her, prayed again, disciplined again, shared scripture, shared more scripture, prayed again, I’m not going to lie…I even tried the good old fashion manipulation “Kennedy, think about all the starving children…we are so disappointed in your unthankful heart for what God has given us”…the cycle went on and on. The more grace we offered, the more Kennedy stood firm in her disobedience. “I CAN’T DO IT!” She shouted. Wow…didn’t that sound familiar!

It was then that God gave me the grace to help my daughter understand how true her statement was and that mommy completely understands what she is feeling. What an amazing moment God gave me to share with my daughter my own struggles! I shared how mommy can’t forgive others the way I should, or love others who don’t love me back, or show humility when my heart is so full of pride, how I can’t do anything “good” without the amazing grace and power of Christ.

“I can do ALL THINGS through CHRIST who strengthens me.” Feeling inadequate hurts, it hurts the pride and self-sufficiency that we all have saturating our hearts. But it’s in those moments, those God-ordained moments of sometimes very painful grace, that we learn the power of Christ in our lives.

P.S. We aren’t in victory mode yet. Kennedy is mid-trial (translation: bowl of oatmeal still awaits), but I am so thankful that God is teaching my typically obedient, law-driven Pharisee of a 6-year old that she “CAN’T DO IT.” I pray that this moment sticks with her to look to Christ to accomplish what she can’t! Thankful for the sometimes painful, frustrating, time-consuming, humbling GRACE OF GOD!

II Corinthians 5:21 For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.