Friday, June 6, 2014

Protecting Ourselves At All Costs

Missionaries who come from the western world to serve in developing countries quickly get the feeling of being victimized and used by the people whom they have come to serve.  Relationships start developing and they quickly learn that the intentions of many friendships are for some type of personal gain.  This leads most missionaries to go thru a period or lifetime of culture shock, resentment, and cynicism.  I feel like it is fair to mention that the feelings are often mutually experienced by our host culture. Just switch out a missionary's frustration of being used for “financial gain” for the impression of being used as “material for a newsletter” or the “token national partner.”

Relationships are messy things within our own culture.  Mix in different world-views and emotional responses and you can end up with quite a mess.  

I find that as a method of coping many of us turn to “protecting ourselves” at all costs.  We withdraw.  We put up walls.  In any way possible we keep ourselves from being hurt or taken advantage of by others.  Wisdom and discretion (which are necessary and needed) start morphing into paranoia and withdrawal.

*On a personal note--this withdrawal probably developed even faster for myself as our very first friend Tanzanian friend ended up stealing our teammates car at the local grocery store and attempted to steal ours.  We were later chased down by police warning us that he and his friends were trying to poison our well to kill our family.  "They are very dangerous people" we were told. This was all within our first two months in country.   

We have all watched this happen.  Men and women who have come to serve begin to develop into paranoid and isolated leaders with ministries looking more like a continual job-interview and spiritual testing ground than love.  I don’t believe that any missionary intends for this to happen.  I believe that it is derives from being repeatedly hurt and deceived without having equipped ourselves with a proper biblical view of this type of suffering.  We see it as a cultural battle that we must fight to win rather than a God-ordained opportunity to practice loving those who don’t necessarily love us back.

I think this kind of defense is great for both self and material-preservation.  The problem is that it looks nothing like the perfect example Jesus’ ministry on earth.

Jesus came from perfection and left His perfect dwelling place to come to earth.  This is unlike America, which some equate with perfection.  His every thought and intention was perfect.  He entered into his new culture, earth, already knowing the outcome.  He knew the pain in which he was entering.  He came anyway. 

He left his Father and his heavenly dwelling for a life of pain, suffering, temptation, discomfort, and sin. He knew that it would end in his death.  He left anyway. 

He knew every single thought of those around him.  He lowered himself to wash their feet.  He knew every selfish aspiration that raced through their brains.  He washed anyway.

The leper came with one intention; to be healed.  He didn’t come to hear the gospel or praise the name of Jesus.  He wanted healing.  He was coming to Jesus only for “medical care”.  Jesus healed anyway.

He reclined at the table and ate with tax collectors and their friends, knowing perhaps that very day they had robbed their community.  The Pharisees questioned Jesus for eating with such sinners.  He ate anyway.

The Scribes and Pharisees were outraged that he would heal the withered hand of a man on the Sabbath day.  The Bible tells us that Jesus knew their thoughts and their schemes.  They wanted to find reasons to accuse him. He knew that helping this man would further their hatred and their plots against him.  He knew what the “spiritual leaders” would think about his compassionate act.  He had compassion anyway. 

In that same chapter Jesus shocks us by his counterintuitive and somewhat outrageous commands, “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.  To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either.  Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your good do not demand them back.  And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.  If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you?  For even sinners love those who love them.  And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you?  For even sinners do the same.  And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you?  Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount.  But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.  Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.”

As they gathered around the dead body of Jairus’s daughter Jesus said, “do not weep, for she is not dead but sleeping”. The parents of this girl along with Peter and John and James, Jesus’ best friends, laughed at Jesus.  He didn’t get angry or question their laughter.  He didn’t retract his compassion because of their behavior.  He took her hand, saying, “Child, arise” and he healed her anyway.

Multitudes of desperate people surrounded Jesus.  He welcomed them.  He spoke to them.   He taught them.  They were hungry.  The need was overwhelming.  The disciples said to him “send the crowd away”.  Jesus fed them.  The very next day he heard the unbelief of his disciples as they sat in a boat arguing and worrying about not having enough bread to eat.  Jesus heard this and rebuked them for their lack of faith.  They had just seen his miraculous feeding of over 5,000 people with seven loaves and two small fish.  How could they have such small faith after what they had seen?  Jesus didn’t walk away looking for better and more faithful followers.  He was patient with their spiritual immaturity.  He loved them and taught them anyway.   

Think about how it felt for Jesus to tell the disciples about his upcoming death only to hear them arguing about who among them was the greatest?  This is about the point where most of us would have turned in our resignation from ministry.  They would have been such annoying and self-focused people to do ministry among, right?  But Jesus gently taught them.  He didn’t leave them and claim them as hardened or unreachable.  He loved them anyway.

Jesus sat and broke bread with his disciples.  He continued to love, teach and serve them as they once again argued about who was the greatest among them.  He knew the plot that Judas had already made to deliver him up to death on the cross.  Jesus continued once again to teach his disciples how to serve and love.  He didn’t leave them.  He knew they would deny him.  Jesus still loved them.  He wasn’t guessing at their impure motives; he knew them completely.  Betrayed with a kiss from the man that he had served and loved.  He gave his life up for him anyway.

Jesus was then mocked, beaten, blindfolded and struck.   He was innocent, yet accused.  He was nailed to the cross.  He watched as they mocked him, divided up his clothes, scoffing and taunting.  In the midst of this he cried out “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” He forgave us anyway.

The truth is that our hearts are all filled with bad intentions.  None of us seek to serve God like we should.   Instead of trying to protect ourselves so tirelessly from the potential bad motives or selfish intentions of the people in whom we serve we should take a look at the Master in whom we serve; remembering that all ground is equal at the foot of the cross.  We are guilty but forgiven; selfish yet loved, prideful yet served, broken yet healed, poor...yet made rich by His grace.  

Can you imagine what would happen if missionaries emulated the love, humility and compassion of Christ’s ministry on earth?  We would be hurt.  Oh, we would be used.  We would be judged by our “spiritually and culturally mature” co-laborers who scoff that "we just don't get it yet".  It will confuse and shock others to see the love and mercy of Christ flow toward the completely undeserving….just like it is supposed to.

Monday, March 10, 2014

GoPro-ing on Sunday

Here is what happened when you pass around the video camera at church in Tanzania.  
Chaos, a lot of fun and a lot of dancing.  Enjoy!



Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Wednesday.

I have to laugh at the amount of times that Aaron and I have made and re-made our schedules since moving to Dar es Salaam.  Each time we convince each other that this new schedule will work because things are going to be normal here soon.  This leads me to believe that we are actually kind of stupid.  It takes us longer than most to figure some things out.  It is also takes us longer than most to get discouraged, so that is at least the good side of being kind of stupid.  It is also the reason why the file on my computer named "New New Schedule" has been revised 8 times.  

This morning, I realized that today was actually one of those days where our "schedule" was right on track.  This made me so excited and proud that I thought I should capture and treasure our day by taking photos of every waking hour.  That didn't happen.  
But here was my best attempt:
First and with no need of explanation.  Coffee.  Kennedy and Claire headed out to school and we sat in traffic for 15 minutes trying to get onto the main road.  Thank you policeman for skipping us 17 times.  As usual I brought my faithful ukelele to bring me both musical joy and my greater, dare I say one true joy, of torturing my husband.  The girls and I took turns praying as Aaron drove, I needed extra prayer this morning for the joy in which I found inside my husband's ukelele nightmare. The girls were late because of our "help" getting out of our street today and ran to their classrooms.  I still feel sad dropping them off in the morning.  I miss those crazy kids during the day.

Joseph made his usual morning chai.  In a cruel twist of fate Aaron gets the last laugh of the morning.  He took his revenge and this picture while I cleaned out my water bottle because just as I prepared to gulp some freshly purified water...a roach climbed out.


Our wonderful guard, Baba Badro, had his 43rd birthday today. Things got weird as he alerted us that it indeed was not his birthday.  I blew out his candle and our birthday party collapsed on itself.  After a brief exchange between Aaron and Baba Badro the birthday party recommenced.  It was, in fact, his birthday but he had forgotten.  Awkward party turned fun and we gave him the rest of the day off.   

No matter how much our schedule changes, one thing is a non-negotiable…days begin with reading and studying God's Word together.  Joseph and Aaron did their swahili time and discipleship together this morning.    
We headed back out for the day.  I let the dogs out of their cages and got the gate because our guard was celebrating his newly remembered birthday.  
We dropped Joseph off at the bus stand to return to Morogoro for a week or two.  We will miss him but we know that there are some very special children who are eagerly awaiting him at the orphanage!
This "picture project" that I assigned myself turned out to pass the time quite nicely in traffic.  I started noticing advertisements and bus signs that I had grown accustomed to, i.e. the Osama Bin Laden and the American flag unite bus.  We sat in traffic for 1 1/2 hours.  Elliot was a trooper, as usual, and only requested that we buy her some cashews from the street vendors.
We arrived at Neema House for Women's Bible Study, singing and prayer time.  I understood most everything today which was a blessing but I did harmonize throughout an entire song without knowing one word.  Elliot "served" the church by sweeping which is her one excuse for playing in water.  
Aaron met with Baba Michael.  We finished up our time early because the after-school schedule changed at our girl's school and they got out 1 1/2 hours earlier than usual on Wednesday. 
Elliot is having another mis-placed anger episode because her dress got wet.  Somehow it was my fault and not her violent sweeping that had drenched her dress.  She hasn't really figured out cause and effect yet. 
We had time to stop and get chicken.  It shames me to admit that since our friends from the States came to visit us I have been carrying around their gift of chick-fil-a sauce…for such a time as this.  This is also the point in the day where my headache (that never left after being sick for the last two days) got almost unbearable.  Chick-fil-a sauce did help though.  It really did.
More traffic.  Bought coconut water. Found marker near Elliot's carseat. Dreamed of Starbucks.
Picked up our little ladies from school and went with Aaron to do some quick survey work in a potential new area of ministry.  The girls shared frozen juice to help them, mainly Elliot, cope with more time in the car.
Home sweet home.  It isn't quite the white picket fence that I had imagined but we are beyond thankful for God providing us a wonderful home. 
Espresso was necessary and perhaps the reason I have energy enough to put these pictures up on the blog tonight.
Sorry, but I had to put up a picture of our pack of dog pets who double as our welcoming committee. 
The girls did their chores of cleaning veggies and fruit.  Claire wanted to make her dad his favorite drink, lemonade. 
Aaron sending emails and doing work (probably making another schedule) and getting his lemonade from Claire-bear.

Dinner and our daily turn around the table of sharing our good/bad things of the day.  We all agreed that our bad thing of the day was Joseph leaving...with Elliot's addition of some more mis-placed anger.  (I love that this is our last picture because the raw emotion that I caught on Aaron's face is perhaps more gratifying to me than torturing him with the ukelele.)


The rest of the night went just as planned.  Claire got a giant goose-egg on the back of her bead by running into a door.  Elliot fell off a bucket and busted her elbow.  Kennedy got into trouble for slamming the door, previously mentioned as the reason for Claire's head injury.

Bible Story, Memory Verse, Kisses, Prayer and Giggles and…THEY ARE ASLEEP!

There you have it…this is what our "scheduled" day looked like today.

Some days I am so tired and emotionally drained that I can hardly walk to my bed.  Today, probably because of the espresso, I am able to look back and laugh and also to reflect on what the Lord has taught me throughout the day.  I am thankful for these times because it allows me to return back to moments which happen and then disappear so fast; or reflect on conversations that happen in a language that I am still trying hard to keep up with.

Tonight I am reflecting on the words spoken by my dear friend Mama Michael during Bible Study.  We read through Philippians 4 and I was especially humbled when she quoted and followed it with some incredible insight.
Philippians 4:11-13  "Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me."

She said: "...not everyone knows what it is like to be hungry or how it feels to watch your children cry for food, not knowing how you will feed them.  Not everyone has been brought to the same low and not everyone is entrusted with the same abundance and wealth; but the Bible calls us all to be content.  We have no right to compare our trials, even our lows and highs, with others. Right now Mama Hudson (our teammate, Alisa Leek) is in America grieving over the health of her father.  We grieve with her and pray for God to strengthen their family.  Both of my parents have already died, but that does not mean that I don't share in her grief. Just because she still has parents and I don't does not mean that her pain is any less. When we compare other people's pain to our own we are only being selfish and not seeing things the way that God does.  Everyone has seasons of grief, sadness, trials, victories, and abundance in the measure that God allows.  It is not our job to know why.  It is our job to be content in what our Heavenly Father sees fit to give and love those who have less and also to love and pray for those who have more."  

What incredible wisdom.  No matter where we live and what our days may look like I hope that we never miss opportunities to reflect on who God is and how HE alone strengthens us to face each low, each high and each day that lies somewhere in between…
Photo Credit: Aaron Boon (while mommy wasn't watching)