Bahama Breeze comes in with a sting

Last night a wonderful family took us to Bahama Breeze Restaurant. They brought along their granddaughter, who wants to be a missionary. They were very excited to hear about our ministry and asked us a lot of questions. They asked a pretty simple question: What is the hardest thing about deputation (deputation is the process of missionaries raising support to get to the field). Besides the obviously missing family and a consistent home for our children, I answered honestly: "I think the hardest thing about it is just waiting. Knowing where God has called us and not being able to be there is so hard." The conversation moved on, but my answer bothered me. Why did it bother me so much?
Am I much like the Israelites who were literally given food from heaven, Manna. That blessing from heaven wasn't good enough. They wanted their food they had tasted in Egypt. I was just like an Israelite complainer...getting incredibly blessed by God to be used by Him to minister and share His news right here in the states, yet wanting Kenya more.
God has called every believer to step out by faith and follow Him. I was focusing so much on our ministry "tomorrow" that I am missing the blessing and opportunities of today. Yes, our hearts are in Kenya. Does that mean that I am not willing to be used by God until then? If I can't have a content spirit now, what makes me think I will ever have one in Kenya? Life is full of false promises of what tomorrow will bring. I am deeply persuaded to stop doing this! If I died today, would God say..."Steph, if you just could have made it to Kenya, you could have done great things for me." NO! I am accountable for each and every moment I live on this earth! I need to stop yearning for tomorrow and seize every moment of today. That means, not complaining in Bahama Breeze about how much I want to get to Kenya. Instead, invest in that little girl who was sitting next to me feeling God has called her to be a missionary. Encourage her, love her, pray for her. Letting go of my ambitions and serving others.
I know exactly why we are not in Kenya yet. God doesn't want us there yet. So I rest in Him and His will for our lives, taking every moment on this "deputation" process to glorify the God who graciously saved me.