Third Culture Kids

“A third culture kid is a person who has spent a significant part of his or her developmental years outside their parents’ culture. The third culture kid builds relationships to all the cultures, while not having full ownership in any. Although elements from each culture are assimilated into the third culture kid’s life experience, the sense of belonging is in relationship to others of the same background, other TCKs.”

The girls woke up early already thinking about the exciting day that lied ahead. It was their first time riding a bus…alone. While Aaron and I (and teammate Shan) go through our missionary training at ABWE this week, Kennedy and Claire head out for missionary training of their own. They are learning all about being a “third culture kid”.

Today each child got blue clay and yellow clay. The blue represented the country in which they were born/ their parents’ culture. The yellow clay represented the new country in which they live or will soon live. They then put their clay together, blending them more and more until the blue and yellow clay merged together to make green. “I am green” Kennedy said as she explained the representation of this clay in her life.
Her little legs hanging from her booster seat, my little six-year-old explained how she has a special part of her that is American and also a special part soon to be African. The longer she will live in her new culture, the more mixed she will become. I guess our girls will be some of the small number of white kids who can claim to be African-American. ;)

I’m so thankful for ABWE for taking the time to love our children and give them this very special time of training. They have encouraged our kids to realize that they aren’t just tagging along on something that God has called their parents to do, but that God placed them in their family on purpose. “This missionary journey is part of God’s race marked out for THEM.”

-I will try to keep updates coming throughout the week. Thank you all for your prayers.

{The Bus..A Very Big Deal For These Two Girls}


{Kennedy and Claire's Itinerary This Week}

{A video diary from Kennedy + Claire}

Another hotel. Another city. What is our dynamic 6 and 4-year-old to do except conjure up an idea to record video diaries? Of course, they felt they needed complete privacy for this process (translation: the rest of the family squeezed into the hotel bathroom until the completion of their recording) Below is what they came up with.

First we have Kennedy. Our dramatic, too smart for her own good, dreamer of a child. She immediately goes into princess, berry-picking land.



Claire-bear defaults to what she knows best...Norah. My favorite part is the end...when you get to see the real Claire.

{My faithful friend}

A few words about a very special friend.

When you think about an influential person, someone God really uses to uplift and encourage others, you may think of a pastor or evangelist, a teacher, a close friend or mentor you have had. Most wouldn’t consider a child or even more so, someone with a handicap into their train of thought. God does.

A very special friend of mine has been used by God as one of my greatest encouragements over the last 3 months. His name is Nathan, a fun-loving guy with Down syndrome. Nathan and his wonderful family faithfully attend our home church back in Ohio. Nathan sits on the front row and swiftly takes notes as the message is being preached. Nathan has faithfully texted me every day, literally every day, with words of thoughtfulness, encouragement, and often times his witty sense of humor and a song…or two…or three. Words like “I praying for you Stepy. How is Aron and the girls. Tell them I miss them.”

In times when I felt so lonely, so out of touch, not sure what situation or residence we were driving into next, Nathan’s faithfulness as a friend brought such a great amount of comfort. God used Nathan in a very special way and I will always be thankful to my precious friend back home, who encouraged and faithfully checked on this struggling missionary and her family! We love you, Nathan!

Mother's Day conversation with Kennedy

I just had to write (type) this out before I forgot it. Our girls say the greatest things. They are always making us laugh and often embarrassing us by their honesty. A recent humbling example: I saw them whispering at a restaurant last week and giggling. I was touched at how sweet they appeared and could not wait to hear all about their precious little conversation. When I asked them they said, "we like your dress mommy...it makes you look like you have a baby in your belly."
ANYWAY, what I really wanted to write about is what our precious 5 year old, Kennedy, said today. We were sitting on the couch and I told her and Claire, "You know, one day you girls will be mommies. I hope you have a husband that makes you feel as special as your daddy makes me feel." Kennedy looked up at me and said, "Mommy! You know we will because we will only marry someone if they love Jesus as much as daddy does."
Now you see why we need this in writing!
I am so thankful that, at such young ages, my girls are starting to understand that what makes their dad so loving, giving, patient, faithful, such a strong and selfless leader (I could keep going...he's amazing) only comes through who he is in Christ. God has blessed my girls so much by daily allowing them to see how a godly man loves his wife and family. Some poor boys are going to have big shoes to fill one day!
{Our 3 Little Ladies in Training}

Maria's Lesson On Abandoning Self

Aaron and I spent the day speaking to classes from K5 to 6th grade about missions and Kenya. We walked through what a day in the life of an African child would be like, showed them Kenyan drums and toys, taught them some swahili, and answered a lot of questions...seriously, a LOT of questions! We also took time to share the need with each class. Whenever speaking with children, we take caution in not sharing too heavy of subjects. We share stories of the need in Africa, but keep it simple and at child-level. Children are often so sensitive to the needs of others. These kids asked so many questions and were so excited to hear about God's plan for missions. It was during the 5th grade class that we met a little girl (or pre-teen, as they notified me they are called these days) named Maria.

Later in the evening we got to attend a special art show put on by these students. During the art show, Maria approached us. "I have been saving since my birthday and Christmas to get an ipod touch. While I was listening to you speak today, God really touched my heart. I decided later that I wanted to give the money to Kenya that I have saved for my ipod." She placed $100 in our hands.

Obviously tears flowed down my face as I listened to the heart of this little girl (pre-teen). What an incredible sacrifice she made. It got me thinking if I would be willing to make such a sacrifice for others? Even as a missionary, who has surrendered my life to the Lord's work, would I be so willing to give of my finances so dedicatedly saved?

Maria did more than just give money to our ministry. She reminded us that God wants all of His children, both young and old, to make such radical sacrifices. So I had to ask myself (because I am a 2nd generation over-analyzer and seeker of spiritualizing everything....thanks Dad) ...what is the "ipod touch" in my life? What in my life is God calling me to surrender to Him? Any dream, desire, goal that I am holding on to so tightly that I am not willing to give it up, like Maria did with her ipod?

"We are settling for a Christianity that revolves around catering to ourselves when the central message of Christianity is actually about abandoning ourselves." David Platt

Bahama Breeze comes in with a sting

Last night a wonderful family took us to Bahama Breeze Restaurant. They brought along their granddaughter, who wants to be a missionary. They were very excited to hear about our ministry and asked us a lot of questions. They asked a pretty simple question: What is the hardest thing about deputation (deputation is the process of missionaries raising support to get to the field). Besides the obviously missing family and a consistent home for our children, I answered honestly: "I think the hardest thing about it is just waiting. Knowing where God has called us and not being able to be there is so hard." The conversation moved on, but my answer bothered me. Why did it bother me so much?
Am I much like the Israelites who were literally given food from heaven, Manna. That blessing from heaven wasn't good enough. They wanted their food they had tasted in Egypt. I was just like an Israelite complainer...getting incredibly blessed by God to be used by Him to minister and share His news right here in the states, yet wanting Kenya more.
God has called every believer to step out by faith and follow Him. I was focusing so much on our ministry "tomorrow" that I am missing the blessing and opportunities of today. Yes, our hearts are in Kenya. Does that mean that I am not willing to be used by God until then? If I can't have a content spirit now, what makes me think I will ever have one in Kenya? Life is full of false promises of what tomorrow will bring. I am deeply persuaded to stop doing this! If I died today, would God say..."Steph, if you just could have made it to Kenya, you could have done great things for me." NO! I am accountable for each and every moment I live on this earth! I need to stop yearning for tomorrow and seize every moment of today. That means, not complaining in Bahama Breeze about how much I want to get to Kenya. Instead, invest in that little girl who was sitting next to me feeling God has called her to be a missionary. Encourage her, love her, pray for her. Letting go of my ambitions and serving others.
I know exactly why we are not in Kenya yet. God doesn't want us there yet. So I rest in Him and His will for our lives, taking every moment on this "deputation" process to glorify the God who graciously saved me.

We got this from a college-aged preachers daughter a couple weeks ago...after a long and very tiring month.

"...You guys probably get this a lot, but your heart for God is so obvious, and it's so great to see a couple that has so much going for them, getting so serious about the Lord!! Abi and I have been talking about you guys almost nonstop since yesterday, haha, and Dad had a testimony time last night for the church to talk about how you guys had impacted them. Many people said that your obvious compassion and burden for the people of Kenya was inspiring, and that they were very touched by your presentation. Thank you again for coming, and for confirming many things for me that God had been working on lately. I praise Him that I have a clearer direction now than I think i ever have before, and I wanted to encourage you in that, as I know deputation is hard and fast and many times one feels like they aren't making a dent or a difference. You are!!! :D Thanks again, and we will continue to pray for you as God brings in the rest of your support."

First of all, to the person who wrote this: (you know who you are) thank you for taking the time to let God use you to encourage us!

We have said this from the beginning; we don't see our ministry as starting in Kenya. It is here and now while God has us traveling all over the states, often tired and homesick, but sharing our burden for Kenya and for God's plan for missions. This sweet letter was used as a reminder and encouragement to keep pressing on. We are anxious to get to Kenya, but want to have hearts that are focusing on honoring God where He has us right now....even if it entails spending hundreds of hours more in the car with 3 children than I ever wanted. :)